People talk about “doing the work” but I gather that this can be yet another abstract concept for many people. A person might internally say “yes, I want to DO THE WORK, but I don’t know how, where do I start??” Which is a completely valid question.
The thing that I notice with a lot of people is that such a concept can seem overwhelming; comparisons can be made with people that have apparently “done the work” and then resistance arises because it’s just so overwhelming. VALID— completely valid.
The brain and habitual neurological pathways almost short-circuit when a person jumps right into the deep end too; which can then result in resistance, stagnancy and a downward spiral of self-pity, numbness and toxic coping mechanisms. That’s why within trauma-informed work, it is often understood that you cannot just jump into a persons trauma point blank.
So how then, does one slowly swim into “doing the work”?
Process.
From my observation, experience and learning, it all begins with understanding your own processes. These process will look different for everyone. Each person is unique and has had different life experiences and has developed different methods of functioning, whether positive or negative.
The most important element for me in the realm of “self-work” is understanding my own processes. How does this come about? Through observation. All therapeutic work begins at the stage of observation of process. Some people can do this work on their own, sometimes people get assistance from others to understand their processes.
Multiple fields of knowledge exists in this world that allow a person better insight into their processes from Astrology to Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Some methods will resonate with you and some may not and this will be unique to you and your personal background.
The point here is that it begins with being an observer of process. That’s why I am such an advocate of meditation. Such a seemingly simple task can highlight the processes, even if that is becoming aware of the agitated mind during meditation and the stories the ego is relaying. This is the importance of awareness and observation.
Much love,
Amalya
If you feel like you need some extra support with your process, feel free to contact me for a 1:1 private session.