Fear is one of those things, isn't it? It's one of those things that can really hold you back from doing the things that you want to do, right? But I think fear is actually healthy (to some extent, of course) because it helps to show you parts of yourself that you might really need to see.
I was pulled to write this post because it's something that I've been thinking about a lot and something that I've learned to work with throughout my life. I feel like it's honestly something that really stops people from following the paths they truly desire to follow. The truth is though, sometimes when you do step through fear and step into those new zones, you will come across trials and tribulations but it teaches you something, if you really tune into hearing it.
What am I going on about? Ok, well there's a lot of different thoughts that come to mind when I think about the times I've moved through fear but one example that really sticks out to me at the moment is back when I begun travelling with my little one when she was only a tiny 4 months old!
Back in 2012, almost a whole 10 years ago now... my daughter was born and prior to her birth, I was already living the travelling life and her Father was a traveller too. Even being in Sydney (where she was born) for a good 6 months or so, was enough for us. The time came and the winds shifted for us to move on. I can tell you, I was sooo afraid to travel with my baby. Petrified! But I knew it was truly something I wanted to do; however, the actual process of doing it was terrifying.
All the stories, right? All.The.Stories. The fears! They all came up. They all whispered their doubts and worries in my ear. The desire to get out of my comfort zone was greater though and the yearning to be on the soil of foreign lands was also a great pull too.
Travelling with a 4 month old to a foreign country isn't really something a lot of people do, to be honest - especially as backpackers! But we did it and I had to learn how to move through fear.
How did I do that?
By being totally and fully present in all of the moments that terrified me.
I will add though, that the beginning parts of this process didn't go so smoothly. I remember when we got on the first flight, from Sydney, Australia to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, I was so nervous that my baby was going to be that baby to scream and disturb the whole plane. So... in my nervousness, after breastfeeding her on take off, I held her close and kept on bopping her up and down to keep her calm (but really, I was just an anxious mess); then what happened?! I bopped her up and down so much that I basically made her throw up on the man behind me! Imagine that, fresh breast milk all over the poor man behind me! Disaster! A disaster that was mostly of my own creation because I allowed the fear and anxiety to take hold.
So that's what I mean when I say: there will be opportunities to learn from these processes even after you've stepped past fear. I realised that I had let fear get the best of me and it created an undesirable outcome. Luckily the kind man behind me was so absolutely understanding - I offered him ALLLLL the baby wipes - and think he could tell how nervous I was.
It was in that whole process that I had to remind myself not to get carried away with my fears or they could result in some type of 'self-fulfilling prophecy' that could have been avoided. I remember once "the incident" happened, I had a little bit of a lightbulb moment. That's where the lesson came in. Even though I had partially stepped through fear by getting on the plane and managing that whole process, I still had not been present and was still fixated on what could go wrong, only to create that.
I learned though and realised that even when you do step through fear, it does not mean that things will always turn out "perfect". There are always opportunities to learn from these processes but the thing to remember is that you gave it a go and you kept on going and you keep moving through it, step by step; moment to moment.
So that's a lesson that really stuck with me in regard to moving through fear. It is about remember that sometimes things can "go wrong" but the important part is remembering to stay present through the process. This can be applied to many other situations in life. I know that some key advice I always remember that successful entrepreneurs always mention is that you don't give up after the first "failure", everything is always material for you to learn from. It may not feel good to step through fear and "fail" but there is always material for you to alchemise and transmute and learn from. Use it!
Staying present and being with the moment, rather than getting caught up in the stories is where the magic happens. It is within these moments that you might remember how wonderful you truly are, in the moments when you least expect it, the moments when you aren't caught up in the expectations and all the stories. In the moment where you are living and Being is the moment where the magic usually happens.
The key is ride the ride of life and step past fear rather than be held down by it.
A real process there, isn't it?
Key practices that I've learned and cultivated to move through these things are elements of Mindfulness and incorporating Meditation. You are always welcome to contact me to learn more or dive through your personal landscape through a 1:1 session with me.
Or sign up to my upcoming workshop to learn tips and tools to keep you more mindful and more present!
Take care out there, and in there beautiful human.
Love, ease and grace,